we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
