I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The struggles of a small town man whore
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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