Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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