so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
