I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
