i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
