After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
