Sponge bath it is.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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