do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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