i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
