so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
