my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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