i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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