i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
