I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The adults are the big ones right?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize