awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
