Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
