Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
