put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
