How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hippo gnu deer
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize