Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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