I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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