12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Randomize
