I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
