You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I AM VODKA MAN
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
