My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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