Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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