My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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