I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
