Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
