i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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