We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
