can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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