i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
