I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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