She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
