It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
