i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
