I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize