I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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