Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night