I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.