I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."