Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
