I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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