Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
