I want to make a zoo with you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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