So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
