AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
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One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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