Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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