you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
