I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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