U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
