do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
