Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
