Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm like, not good at living.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
