she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
