dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize