I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
