Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This is classic penis vs brain.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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