The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
