Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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