So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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