dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
